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Nov. 9th, 2005 05:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
goldenmeanA modest proposal.
In my utopian (or if you're looking at it from almost anyone's perspective but mine, dystopian) future, all cars shall be made from water soluble materials. Not only will this revitalize the economy (you can thank me later Detroit), but it will also prevent people incapable of driving in the rain from doing things, like, oh just a random example off the top of my head, driving into my girlfriend and myself as we're crossing the street (yes, at the crosswalk, and yes, on the signal). Personally, I can't see anything wrong this idea. I might even be so generous as allow you to apply for an insolubility license after undergoing stringent testing. Let no one accuse me of being unreasonable! You know, I think it's been way too long since I actually read A Modest Proposal for me to include any decent references in this account. Maybe if the cars were made of water soluble babies. Now that's an idea. Commence to birthing, people. I've got a totalitarian police state to found!
Anyway, Ari and I are fine as far as we can tell. She was further towards the edge of the car and farther away from it and banged up and knocked down. I got to go for an exciting little ride on the hood for a while. My recollection of my mental state as it was happening was mainly bemusement. "Huh, well I guess this was bound to happen sooner or later, given the ridiculous sense of entitlement to the road most drivers have. I wonder if this moron will make it to the freeway before noticing he has an unwilling passenger. Maybe I'll be like the goldfish in You and Me and Everyone We Know (good movie, go see it)". A lot of thinking for a relatively short period of time. Time dilation rules. In my dark vision of the future, no one will need to do drugs for the effect, we'll just drive into each other (assuming it's not raining of course. On lousy days, we'll still need hallucinogens). In other amusing news, at some time in my immediately post-crash befuddled state, I apparently went around and cleaned up the mess the snack I was eating caused on the street. I don't actually remember doing this at the time, but it was in what was left of our co'no sto' baggie of food when we got home. My semi-conscious mind's prioritizing cracks me up. I wouldn't recommend it to other people, but in the end there's a bizarre sense of relief that I got a decent accident out of the way without any really serious harm, as before this the closest I've come to harm was the time I discovered I was allergic to Clairol's permanent black hair dye the hard way, which is really kind of a half-assed brush with death. It had better photographic evidence though (no you can't see them, unless you ask really nicely, or deliver unto me a water soluble baby)
Anyway, work over (yes, same job, the concept of a 3 month contract is clearly a bit notional around here, not that I'm complaining, this is the only job I've ever actually enjoyed for long that paid at all decently), I go home.
In my utopian (or if you're looking at it from almost anyone's perspective but mine, dystopian) future, all cars shall be made from water soluble materials. Not only will this revitalize the economy (you can thank me later Detroit), but it will also prevent people incapable of driving in the rain from doing things, like, oh just a random example off the top of my head, driving into my girlfriend and myself as we're crossing the street (yes, at the crosswalk, and yes, on the signal). Personally, I can't see anything wrong this idea. I might even be so generous as allow you to apply for an insolubility license after undergoing stringent testing. Let no one accuse me of being unreasonable! You know, I think it's been way too long since I actually read A Modest Proposal for me to include any decent references in this account. Maybe if the cars were made of water soluble babies. Now that's an idea. Commence to birthing, people. I've got a totalitarian police state to found!
Anyway, Ari and I are fine as far as we can tell. She was further towards the edge of the car and farther away from it and banged up and knocked down. I got to go for an exciting little ride on the hood for a while. My recollection of my mental state as it was happening was mainly bemusement. "Huh, well I guess this was bound to happen sooner or later, given the ridiculous sense of entitlement to the road most drivers have. I wonder if this moron will make it to the freeway before noticing he has an unwilling passenger. Maybe I'll be like the goldfish in You and Me and Everyone We Know (good movie, go see it)". A lot of thinking for a relatively short period of time. Time dilation rules. In my dark vision of the future, no one will need to do drugs for the effect, we'll just drive into each other (assuming it's not raining of course. On lousy days, we'll still need hallucinogens). In other amusing news, at some time in my immediately post-crash befuddled state, I apparently went around and cleaned up the mess the snack I was eating caused on the street. I don't actually remember doing this at the time, but it was in what was left of our co'no sto' baggie of food when we got home. My semi-conscious mind's prioritizing cracks me up. I wouldn't recommend it to other people, but in the end there's a bizarre sense of relief that I got a decent accident out of the way without any really serious harm, as before this the closest I've come to harm was the time I discovered I was allergic to Clairol's permanent black hair dye the hard way, which is really kind of a half-assed brush with death. It had better photographic evidence though (no you can't see them, unless you ask really nicely, or deliver unto me a water soluble baby)
Anyway, work over (yes, same job, the concept of a 3 month contract is clearly a bit notional around here, not that I'm complaining, this is the only job I've ever actually enjoyed for long that paid at all decently), I go home.
