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Aug. 16th, 2002 12:38 amStupid pant buttons being clicked accidentally and losing all my hard-written journal entry. Hrmph. Ok, after a brief debate, I've decided to try to rewrite it. If this journal entry disappoints, I can only assure you that the one that just went whistling off to the bit bin was tragically more interesting.
Anyway. Back in the null journal entry, I was bitching about how today basically sucked. However, today is now yesterday, and the new today hasn't actually been treating me all that badly. Wait, actually about the only thing of note that's happened today is that I wrote in my journal which then spontaneously vanished, so maybe this today is going to suck also. I've decided to be upbeat and positive about it for the moment though.
So, anyway, yesterday's today was all shmooey. Missed my bus, and hence my train, and hence the last shuttle. Witness the dominoes of causality go collapsing all around me. Ended up walking into work about an hour late. Not that anyone cared, but it's still a pretty lousy way to start the day, and it didn't really pick up from there.
I'm mainly blaming wonky headspace for everything. Something's rotten in Denmark, and I don't really know what and hence haven't the foggiest how to go about fixing it. But I can feel my brain going askew, and I don't like what that bodes. I really need to sit down and give myself a thorough mental diagnostic, but I don't really have the time for it.
Speaking of, I found out that I'm working 10 hour days both days this weekend. Joy. We're meant to be going beta, and there's still more open bugs in the database than some other projects have total. It's a complete nightmare. Also, my hand hurts from endlessly crimping network cable. And no, that's not "What we're calling it these days". Hrm. I think maybe I'll name my band Preemptive Innuendo. It's got a ring to it. On the plus side at work, it's nice having Starr and Devon around. More people to pester.
Anyway, I think I've pretty much got the bitching out of my sytem. Sorry about that. Ok, as far as non-bitching goes, I figured out that I wasn't quite as done with my Discworld collection as I thought I was. Ended up picking what I'm pretty sure is the last one I needed, Reaper Man a couple of days ago. Of course I still need to go rebuy Sourcery which Lamont absconded with Burning Man last and Pyramids, which was Heps. I've decided that once I'm a gazillionaire I'm going to hire Terry Pratchett to hang around and spew out metaphors for time on my whim. Here's my current favorites. (The pendulum) swings with a faint whum-whum-whum noise, gently slicing thin rashers of interval from the bacon of eternity and Here's the room where the future pours into the past via the pinch of the now
Hrm. I just got all distracted on the web looking at google links for "planck time unit". There's a rather bizarre article about Cosmological Quantum Units and the Planck Units written by someone whose obviously way too enamoured of themselves. They do however use the term "Cosmic Embryoton" which I find far more amusing than I probably should.
You know what this journal's been missing recently? Song lyrics. I think it's mainly because I'm not exactly sure where my head is, so I don't exactly know how to go about describing it. I'm still pretty sure that I can model my emotional state by a sort of Fourier Series of song lyrics though. Does wanting to describe my emotional landscapes in terms of math make me a robot, or just a big geek? I worry about this sometimes. It's not that I'm not emotional, because I most certainly am. Vehemently so at times. But I'm very logically emotional. It's all very strange. Anyway.
The albums I've been juggling recently are New Order's Substance, Stromkern's Armageddon, Informatik's Nymphomatik, and Imperative Reaction's Ruined. The new Imperative Reaction CD is really quite a smashing breakup album, and I'm sure I would have been chucking verses around like mad about 8 months ago (Yeesh that's a long time ago), but it's a bit outdated at this point. Instead I think I'll go with Stromkern.
Come to this paradise and watch it burn like a funeral pyre, and it's raining fire, and I'm running away. Armageddon's come. Hope fulfills this last desire. I want to live beside her. I want to give it all away. I want a break. I want a chance to leave this all behind me. But one look inside me. I want to turn and walk away. I want some faith. I want a lifetime for my dreams to find me. I want to change it slightly. I want to burn it all away...
You know, listening to this song today, I decided that if there isn't currently a piece of pornography entitled "Cum Armageddon" it's only a matter of time. I can already picture the premise. Post-apocalyptic landscape. Last virile man on earth. Hordes of mutant women. Oh wait, I'm describing Hell Comes to Frogtown. Never mind...
Oh what the hell, I'll toss some New Order lyrics around also.
Help me, somebody help me. I wonder where I am. I see my future before me. I'll hurt you when I can. It seems like I've been here before. Confusion sprung up from devotion. A halo that covers my eyes. It sprung from this first estrangement. No one have I ever despised. Is this the way that you wanted to pay? Won't you show me, please show me the way. Is this the way that you wanted to pay? Won't you show me, please show me the way.
Anyway. Back in the null journal entry, I was bitching about how today basically sucked. However, today is now yesterday, and the new today hasn't actually been treating me all that badly. Wait, actually about the only thing of note that's happened today is that I wrote in my journal which then spontaneously vanished, so maybe this today is going to suck also. I've decided to be upbeat and positive about it for the moment though.
So, anyway, yesterday's today was all shmooey. Missed my bus, and hence my train, and hence the last shuttle. Witness the dominoes of causality go collapsing all around me. Ended up walking into work about an hour late. Not that anyone cared, but it's still a pretty lousy way to start the day, and it didn't really pick up from there.
I'm mainly blaming wonky headspace for everything. Something's rotten in Denmark, and I don't really know what and hence haven't the foggiest how to go about fixing it. But I can feel my brain going askew, and I don't like what that bodes. I really need to sit down and give myself a thorough mental diagnostic, but I don't really have the time for it.
Speaking of, I found out that I'm working 10 hour days both days this weekend. Joy. We're meant to be going beta, and there's still more open bugs in the database than some other projects have total. It's a complete nightmare. Also, my hand hurts from endlessly crimping network cable. And no, that's not "What we're calling it these days". Hrm. I think maybe I'll name my band Preemptive Innuendo. It's got a ring to it. On the plus side at work, it's nice having Starr and Devon around. More people to pester.
Anyway, I think I've pretty much got the bitching out of my sytem. Sorry about that. Ok, as far as non-bitching goes, I figured out that I wasn't quite as done with my Discworld collection as I thought I was. Ended up picking what I'm pretty sure is the last one I needed, Reaper Man a couple of days ago. Of course I still need to go rebuy Sourcery which Lamont absconded with Burning Man last and Pyramids, which was Heps. I've decided that once I'm a gazillionaire I'm going to hire Terry Pratchett to hang around and spew out metaphors for time on my whim. Here's my current favorites. (The pendulum) swings with a faint whum-whum-whum noise, gently slicing thin rashers of interval from the bacon of eternity and Here's the room where the future pours into the past via the pinch of the now
Hrm. I just got all distracted on the web looking at google links for "planck time unit". There's a rather bizarre article about Cosmological Quantum Units and the Planck Units written by someone whose obviously way too enamoured of themselves. They do however use the term "Cosmic Embryoton" which I find far more amusing than I probably should.
You know what this journal's been missing recently? Song lyrics. I think it's mainly because I'm not exactly sure where my head is, so I don't exactly know how to go about describing it. I'm still pretty sure that I can model my emotional state by a sort of Fourier Series of song lyrics though. Does wanting to describe my emotional landscapes in terms of math make me a robot, or just a big geek? I worry about this sometimes. It's not that I'm not emotional, because I most certainly am. Vehemently so at times. But I'm very logically emotional. It's all very strange. Anyway.
The albums I've been juggling recently are New Order's Substance, Stromkern's Armageddon, Informatik's Nymphomatik, and Imperative Reaction's Ruined. The new Imperative Reaction CD is really quite a smashing breakup album, and I'm sure I would have been chucking verses around like mad about 8 months ago (Yeesh that's a long time ago), but it's a bit outdated at this point. Instead I think I'll go with Stromkern.
Come to this paradise and watch it burn like a funeral pyre, and it's raining fire, and I'm running away. Armageddon's come. Hope fulfills this last desire. I want to live beside her. I want to give it all away. I want a break. I want a chance to leave this all behind me. But one look inside me. I want to turn and walk away. I want some faith. I want a lifetime for my dreams to find me. I want to change it slightly. I want to burn it all away...
You know, listening to this song today, I decided that if there isn't currently a piece of pornography entitled "Cum Armageddon" it's only a matter of time. I can already picture the premise. Post-apocalyptic landscape. Last virile man on earth. Hordes of mutant women. Oh wait, I'm describing Hell Comes to Frogtown. Never mind...
Oh what the hell, I'll toss some New Order lyrics around also.
Help me, somebody help me. I wonder where I am. I see my future before me. I'll hurt you when I can. It seems like I've been here before. Confusion sprung up from devotion. A halo that covers my eyes. It sprung from this first estrangement. No one have I ever despised. Is this the way that you wanted to pay? Won't you show me, please show me the way. Is this the way that you wanted to pay? Won't you show me, please show me the way.
