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May. 18th, 2002 01:17 amThis is one of those dull updating because of elapsed time entries, instead of "Ooh, I've got a story to tell", or emotional venting. Emotionally, I just feel resigned. Resignation isn't really anything that needs venting. It's not an emotion I'm immensely happy about, but writing about it isn't going to make me any less "Enh" about things. I think I should probably do something to get out of my own skin for a while. Go someplace new. Do something different. I don't know what though. I really don't like these moods. When I'm hurt, or depressed, at least I'm feeling something. Right now I just feel like I'm swaddled in packing material and in transit between emotional states. I was *there*, and eventually I'll be *there*, but right now, nada, no dice. Oh well. Writing about feeling nothing is hard. I think I'm going to write about something now. Something is generally more interesting than nothing.
Tuesday I went to go have dinner with my mom and parts of the rest of her household. On the way, I broke down, and picked up another discworld book I didn't have because I was out of other reading material. Or out of fiction reading material at least. I've still got some mathy/sciency books, but much as I love math and science, I always need to have something more traditionally fun also. I'm trying to pace myself and only read when I have absolutely nothing else to do. I tend to multitask reading a lot. I read while walking, watching tv, listening to music, playing video games, etc. I distinctly remember a period when I was reading while showering also. It's really sad that I notice parts of my brain being bored even when I am actually doing something, but I think it's probably better to let them be bored for a while than doing everything all at once and then having my entire head be bored later on. Hit up a good mexican place in Palo Alto. Don't remember the name, but it was very good, and sit downy. There really aren't enough sit down mexican restaurants around. Way too many taquerias. After dinner, hung out with my mom for a while, then caught a ride back to Dan's. Got to watch my mom and her boy play Dance Dance Revolution for the first time. It was completely adorable. Going to hang out with her all day tomorrow, which will be nice. My mom is always soothing.
Wednesday, my apathy sort of ate my day. Was going to go out, but then just sort of frittered the time away planning to go out, until there wasn't any real reason to go out. Did the same with the evening. Was thinking about going down to one of the San Jose clubs, but I didn't really feel up to making the trek, when I knew that a couple of the people I'd like to see weren't going to be there. Ended up watching movies instead. Rewatched Swingers for the third or fourth time. I forgot just how much I dislike Vince Vaughn's character in that movie. I've got the urge to use the word money as an adjective now. And a nagging itch to go to Las Vegas. I've never been. I expect I'd probably hate it, but it still seems like I should go at least once. Vegas, baby, vegas.
Thursday I caught bus and caltrain up to the city to pick up my CD's for DJing tomorrow. It's nice having them back, even though my brain hasn't really been running in musical channels very much lately. While there, I picked up some collectable card geekery with which to distract Todd from the busy world of unemployment. Went over to Hep's house for a while. Ended up going to Evan's open-house. Talked with Chris about the general decline in children's reading material. I didn't see a single choose your own adventure book at the book fair. Also, not a solitary book with hokey Basic programs you could type in (in different flavors for the C-64, Vic 20, and Apple II). I wonder what young geeks now-a-days teeth on. For me it was definitely Compute magazine. Many an hour spent typing in page after page of basic. 10 For i = 0 to 10. 20 Poke 53280, i. 30 Next. Yeesh. I still remember which control characters were color codes on my Commodore 64. I temporarily blanked on how to exponentiate in perl the other day, but I still remember that 4 was cyan. Oi. Anyway, got a ride back down to Dan's house and watched horrible movies. Slept. Woke up frequently throughout the morning.
Woke up at 10ish for a phone screen at EA. Have an interview with them next week. Would prefer the sony gig, as it pays more, but sony seems disoriented due to E3. As such I get the sneaking suspicion that EA will offer me a job and I won't have much choice but to take it before Sony gets their act together. Oh well, it'll still be a job. After phone interview, went promptly back to sleep. Woke up and made several abortive attempts to go out and do something with the day, but ended up laundering instead. In the evening went over to Todd and Cheryl's for bad movies. Killer Clowns from Outer Space and Dead Alive. Definitely both shining paragons in the pantheon of atrocious movieness. I wonder how I would have reacted if after my first time watching Dead Alive, someone had come up and told me that guy was going to direct Lord of the Rings. Or after Bad Taste for that matter. Or Meet the Feebles. Was pretty zoned throughout movieness. I got more coy sideways smiles from Jellybean though, which makes everything pretty worthwhile. Back at Dan's now. Think I'm going to go paw through my music collection some more. I've got Deine Lakaien in my head at the moment.
Waves in low tide. Sounds of the night. And my memories echo back again. Stranger that I am. In my own land. Where no one will remember my name. When, when you hear me calling? Will, will you be there? When, when you see me falling. Will, will you be there? Will, will you be there?
Pretty song. I'm gonna go listen to it.
Tuesday I went to go have dinner with my mom and parts of the rest of her household. On the way, I broke down, and picked up another discworld book I didn't have because I was out of other reading material. Or out of fiction reading material at least. I've still got some mathy/sciency books, but much as I love math and science, I always need to have something more traditionally fun also. I'm trying to pace myself and only read when I have absolutely nothing else to do. I tend to multitask reading a lot. I read while walking, watching tv, listening to music, playing video games, etc. I distinctly remember a period when I was reading while showering also. It's really sad that I notice parts of my brain being bored even when I am actually doing something, but I think it's probably better to let them be bored for a while than doing everything all at once and then having my entire head be bored later on. Hit up a good mexican place in Palo Alto. Don't remember the name, but it was very good, and sit downy. There really aren't enough sit down mexican restaurants around. Way too many taquerias. After dinner, hung out with my mom for a while, then caught a ride back to Dan's. Got to watch my mom and her boy play Dance Dance Revolution for the first time. It was completely adorable. Going to hang out with her all day tomorrow, which will be nice. My mom is always soothing.
Wednesday, my apathy sort of ate my day. Was going to go out, but then just sort of frittered the time away planning to go out, until there wasn't any real reason to go out. Did the same with the evening. Was thinking about going down to one of the San Jose clubs, but I didn't really feel up to making the trek, when I knew that a couple of the people I'd like to see weren't going to be there. Ended up watching movies instead. Rewatched Swingers for the third or fourth time. I forgot just how much I dislike Vince Vaughn's character in that movie. I've got the urge to use the word money as an adjective now. And a nagging itch to go to Las Vegas. I've never been. I expect I'd probably hate it, but it still seems like I should go at least once. Vegas, baby, vegas.
Thursday I caught bus and caltrain up to the city to pick up my CD's for DJing tomorrow. It's nice having them back, even though my brain hasn't really been running in musical channels very much lately. While there, I picked up some collectable card geekery with which to distract Todd from the busy world of unemployment. Went over to Hep's house for a while. Ended up going to Evan's open-house. Talked with Chris about the general decline in children's reading material. I didn't see a single choose your own adventure book at the book fair. Also, not a solitary book with hokey Basic programs you could type in (in different flavors for the C-64, Vic 20, and Apple II). I wonder what young geeks now-a-days teeth on. For me it was definitely Compute magazine. Many an hour spent typing in page after page of basic. 10 For i = 0 to 10. 20 Poke 53280, i. 30 Next. Yeesh. I still remember which control characters were color codes on my Commodore 64. I temporarily blanked on how to exponentiate in perl the other day, but I still remember that 4 was cyan. Oi. Anyway, got a ride back down to Dan's house and watched horrible movies. Slept. Woke up frequently throughout the morning.
Woke up at 10ish for a phone screen at EA. Have an interview with them next week. Would prefer the sony gig, as it pays more, but sony seems disoriented due to E3. As such I get the sneaking suspicion that EA will offer me a job and I won't have much choice but to take it before Sony gets their act together. Oh well, it'll still be a job. After phone interview, went promptly back to sleep. Woke up and made several abortive attempts to go out and do something with the day, but ended up laundering instead. In the evening went over to Todd and Cheryl's for bad movies. Killer Clowns from Outer Space and Dead Alive. Definitely both shining paragons in the pantheon of atrocious movieness. I wonder how I would have reacted if after my first time watching Dead Alive, someone had come up and told me that guy was going to direct Lord of the Rings. Or after Bad Taste for that matter. Or Meet the Feebles. Was pretty zoned throughout movieness. I got more coy sideways smiles from Jellybean though, which makes everything pretty worthwhile. Back at Dan's now. Think I'm going to go paw through my music collection some more. I've got Deine Lakaien in my head at the moment.
Waves in low tide. Sounds of the night. And my memories echo back again. Stranger that I am. In my own land. Where no one will remember my name. When, when you hear me calling? Will, will you be there? When, when you see me falling. Will, will you be there? Will, will you be there?
Pretty song. I'm gonna go listen to it.
