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Apr. 23rd, 2002 02:53 amI can't forget, having to see, the words that knocked the wind right out of me. It's not enough. I've come undone. Trying to find sense where there is none. Just give me peace. You owe me that. To help ward off the fears I must combat
Drama, drama, drama. I'm so very, very tired of drama. Lots of explosions all over the place today. Not really going to go into most of it, because, well, that would just generate more drama, and that's one of the things I abhor about online journaling. Some people forget the "online" part of it and only remember the "journaling" part of it, and go on to say all sorts of things that cause problems down the road. None for me. If this dissapoints you, I strongly suggest you watch some daytime tv until you've gotten your fix.
I've gotten into the habit of going chronologically backwards in my journal entries when I've got multiple days to catch up on. Just to be different, I think I'll go forwards this time, which means we start at Sunday morning where our dashing (and humble) protagonist was going to wake up early, call friends, and proceed to geek out merrily. Unfortunately, our hero has no alarm clock currently. The horror! What to do? Clearly the only answer is to not fall into a very deep sleep, and whenever he rolls over check the clock. Which he does at 6:10, and 6:23, and 6:31, and ... well, you get the point. So, four hours or so of sleep (in 5 to 20 minute increments) later, our bold champion of the people (who will henceforth be known as I (withness my cunning escape from third person narrative)) arises and goes to do battle with phone in hand. Unfortunately I am trounced quite viciously. Friends felled by sickness, moving plans, and then the good old domino effect of "Well, if there's only going to be 3 of us, maybe I won't come out". Ah well. So, I'm left with a day to kill. Fortunately, it's one of those busy points on the social calendar, so I have a birthday party I could attend. And I do. It's Eva's (Ken and Heather's tiny person) second birthday ever, which means it's like 13 times as important as my upcoming birthday. I get out to the Sunset on time, which of course means I'm one of the first people there. Help blow up balloons for a bit, and wait for people to show. The party was a bit of a blur, due mainly to the fact that sleep dep made me a complete zombie. Lots of people from a social group I wandered away from a year or two back when I got sick of/too involved in its politics. As such I ended up talking to some friends I rarely see, and making polite conversation with people that I've found I don't have the energy to dislike anymore (I've found that it takes an active effort on my part to hold a grudge, and after a while it's just not worth it anymore). Eva seemed to have a good time also. She got power puff girl cake, and lots of toys. Not really much more you can ask for at that age. Ended up being one of the last party guests, along with Valerie and Marklar, who were lovely enough to give me a ride back home. Showed up to the door just as my sister, Will, and Stevie were getting ready to take off. Massive exchange of hugs in the middle of the street then upstairs where I'm sure I did something, but I really couldn't tell you what. Sleep dep make joshie memory go *pffbt*
There is one thing to be said for sleep dep though, once you finally do sleep, you appreciate it soooo much. The day probably would have gone a lot better if I would have just continued appreciating it until like 6 pm or so. Woke up, chatted online for better or worse for a while, then helped Mike and Maggie (with special guest Eric (sans pants)) take a load of stuff over to the new, as of yet unnamed place. I suggested just buying spare doors and storing them in a closet, so they can keep the current house name (House of 13 Doors, for those of you just joining the program), because damn it, I like it. They didn't seem wild about the idea though. Ah well, if they can't think of a nifty new house name, they better not come crying to me. Came back across the bay then I headed for Death Guild, as I felt the intense need to dance. Kind of a slow night. Most of my friends were either out sick or out poor, or just plain out disinterested. But Patty was there and she ROCKS MY WORLD because she bought me a ticket to VNV Nation as an early birthday present. Happy happy! Rargh. Too tired to do a shout-out to everybody else I saw there, and I don't think any of them read this, so hopefully they won't be offended. Hopped a bus, walked a couple of blocks and here I am, watching early morning Buffy reruns. Somewhere in the middle of the third season now I think. Just overheard... "Prince of Night, I summon you, come fill me with your dark naughty evil!". Think I'm off to couchland now. Nini all.
Drama, drama, drama. I'm so very, very tired of drama. Lots of explosions all over the place today. Not really going to go into most of it, because, well, that would just generate more drama, and that's one of the things I abhor about online journaling. Some people forget the "online" part of it and only remember the "journaling" part of it, and go on to say all sorts of things that cause problems down the road. None for me. If this dissapoints you, I strongly suggest you watch some daytime tv until you've gotten your fix.
I've gotten into the habit of going chronologically backwards in my journal entries when I've got multiple days to catch up on. Just to be different, I think I'll go forwards this time, which means we start at Sunday morning where our dashing (and humble) protagonist was going to wake up early, call friends, and proceed to geek out merrily. Unfortunately, our hero has no alarm clock currently. The horror! What to do? Clearly the only answer is to not fall into a very deep sleep, and whenever he rolls over check the clock. Which he does at 6:10, and 6:23, and 6:31, and ... well, you get the point. So, four hours or so of sleep (in 5 to 20 minute increments) later, our bold champion of the people (who will henceforth be known as I (withness my cunning escape from third person narrative)) arises and goes to do battle with phone in hand. Unfortunately I am trounced quite viciously. Friends felled by sickness, moving plans, and then the good old domino effect of "Well, if there's only going to be 3 of us, maybe I won't come out". Ah well. So, I'm left with a day to kill. Fortunately, it's one of those busy points on the social calendar, so I have a birthday party I could attend. And I do. It's Eva's (Ken and Heather's tiny person) second birthday ever, which means it's like 13 times as important as my upcoming birthday. I get out to the Sunset on time, which of course means I'm one of the first people there. Help blow up balloons for a bit, and wait for people to show. The party was a bit of a blur, due mainly to the fact that sleep dep made me a complete zombie. Lots of people from a social group I wandered away from a year or two back when I got sick of/too involved in its politics. As such I ended up talking to some friends I rarely see, and making polite conversation with people that I've found I don't have the energy to dislike anymore (I've found that it takes an active effort on my part to hold a grudge, and after a while it's just not worth it anymore). Eva seemed to have a good time also. She got power puff girl cake, and lots of toys. Not really much more you can ask for at that age. Ended up being one of the last party guests, along with Valerie and Marklar, who were lovely enough to give me a ride back home. Showed up to the door just as my sister, Will, and Stevie were getting ready to take off. Massive exchange of hugs in the middle of the street then upstairs where I'm sure I did something, but I really couldn't tell you what. Sleep dep make joshie memory go *pffbt*
There is one thing to be said for sleep dep though, once you finally do sleep, you appreciate it soooo much. The day probably would have gone a lot better if I would have just continued appreciating it until like 6 pm or so. Woke up, chatted online for better or worse for a while, then helped Mike and Maggie (with special guest Eric (sans pants)) take a load of stuff over to the new, as of yet unnamed place. I suggested just buying spare doors and storing them in a closet, so they can keep the current house name (House of 13 Doors, for those of you just joining the program), because damn it, I like it. They didn't seem wild about the idea though. Ah well, if they can't think of a nifty new house name, they better not come crying to me. Came back across the bay then I headed for Death Guild, as I felt the intense need to dance. Kind of a slow night. Most of my friends were either out sick or out poor, or just plain out disinterested. But Patty was there and she ROCKS MY WORLD because she bought me a ticket to VNV Nation as an early birthday present. Happy happy! Rargh. Too tired to do a shout-out to everybody else I saw there, and I don't think any of them read this, so hopefully they won't be offended. Hopped a bus, walked a couple of blocks and here I am, watching early morning Buffy reruns. Somewhere in the middle of the third season now I think. Just overheard... "Prince of Night, I summon you, come fill me with your dark naughty evil!". Think I'm off to couchland now. Nini all.
